The One Year Milestone: What It's Like

One year. She points at everything. Distinct noises and pitches are her words, her own budding little language. He's experimenting with steps, crawling to be picked up, eating so much more. Your baby is one, an entirely different person from that beautiful blob of a baby he was a year ago.

Celebrating a baby's first birthday is a big deal!! But it can also feel a little anticlimactic. You've made it through the first twelve months. For me, the first year was a significant landmark each time around, but I definitely didn’t feel as if I’d landed on the other side of some impressive hurdle. I was mid-air, still jumping, still discovering who I was as a mom, still adapting to change being my new normal. The milestone always seemed both massive and somewhat arbitrary at the same time. 

As I slowly inch away from social media, I'm exploring other ways to share my writing and my experiences. This is part of a reflection I wrote when my third baby turned one.

What It's Like to Reach the One Year Milestone

The entire first year of your baby's life the brain can’t think past the one year mark. Then your baby's first birthday comes and goes and the brain has to recalibrate, consider what it will anticipate next or even take a pause from thinking, which is even more uncomfortable.

I knew that when her first year came to a close I would feel this way, this sense of blur/haze/fog/now what? Every single day this past year I had a keen sense of the time passing. As I longed for bed each evening, I lingered, still do. Holding her against my chest a few more seconds, so agonizingly aware of how soon these moments will be gone.

Nothing lasts forever. These words have both a comfort and a dagger to the heart this year. Here we are on the other side of sleepless nights, steady and sure-footed, steeped in routine and predictability. And yet boundlessly broken by the beginning of saying goodbye to my sweet baby.

It truly is bittersweet. Unlike oil and water, bittersweet mixes like smoke sent into the air from a backyard bonfire. That sadness clings like smoke stuck to clothes too. The stench sings of summer magic, yet there’s an urge to wash it away. The grief is real, the elation exceptional. A never-ending mourning of the child I’m losing paired with a rapturous welcoming of the person they’re becoming. A relationship with each age and stage, and after 18 years I will have known too many people for my heart to hold, for I am already bursting. But it is a beautiful wrecking.

I am wrecked. By her strawberry blonde hair and tan mixed with bright blue eyes, one with a pizza slice of hazel. Wrecked by her bah-bahs and ma-mas. Her scrunched up nose and toothy smiles. And my favorite right now: how she crawls away from me to explore, pausing every few steps to turn her head, a silent request for permission, an invitation to follow. I am wrecked by big sister’s mothering of her and how my baby’s smiles and embrace makes big brother melt even when he’s angry. I’m wrecked even by the simplest of things, like how wearing sunflowers suits her and yellow is totally her color. But also by the profound, like how names have a way calling a person into being. Yes, she is joy. Through and through.

Why You Should Take One Year Milestone Photos

As my baby approached one I made it a point to capture what was most meaningful to me about my baby and our relationship. Between me coaching my husband on how to use my camera and hiring a professional photographer to come to our hobby farm, we documented nursing on our backyard trampoline, family gathering for a little backyard party, and sweet family moments in our massive garden and near our birds.

Some photos were taken on my camera, some on my phone, some from another's point of view. The medium mattered less than the moments we chose to freeze. And what mattered is that I was included in the photos and we took the time to slow our thinking for a few days and just breathe her in. Ultimately, that's why I recommend taking those milestone photos. Because it's a sort of meditation. There's an intentionality that comes along with the act and that serves to stamp the memories into our brains, a deeper imprint if you will.

Hiring a baby photographer means you'll be included in the memories too. But whether you book a professional or take 10 minutes during a one year celebration to catch a few frames on your phone, do it. Share them. Print them. Mail them in a thank you after the party. Take the time. It's worth it.

Now What?

It's normal to feel a bit down, weird, and/or disoriented after your baby's first birthday. Don't judge yourself for however you're feeling. Be present in the moment. Plan an afternoon to hang just with your baby. But it's also okay to dream about the future. Plan a getaway. Picture next summer when you'll be potty training. Eeeek!

Looking for a Newborn Photographer in the Twin Cities?

I'm a Newborn Photographer in Elk River, MN and provide services all over the Twin Cities metro. I photograph one year milestone photos outside and right at home. Some of my favorite photos are taken during backyard milestone sessions. My sessions are very relaxed, and baby-led/parent-led. I'm all about the lifestyle and documentary approach. My style has been described as bright, natural, creamy, candid, detail-oriented, and on the warmer side.

To get in touch with me head to the Contact page or email me at karajoyphoto@gmail.com. You can also text or call me at 612.599.8349.